25 Signs She's High Maintenance

1. She won’t do a summer rental with your friends because it requires sharing a bathroom.
2. For her, complaining is a form of conversation.
3. She won’t take public transportation.
4. She travels with her reflexologist.
5. She immediately accepts your offer to drop her at the entrance of the restaurant while you crisscross looking for a parking space.
6. Her idea of sexy Saturday involves you following her around while she shops.
7. If she has blemishes, she won’t go out in public.
8. She won’t drink beer.
9. She rips you a new one if you happen to leave her side for more than a minute at a social engagement.
10. She carries her new handbag for one season only, and then torches it.
11. She never carries cash.
12. In anticipation of your three day business trip, she line’s up a spa day, a girl’s night out, a shopping date and her friends drinks mojitos and watch Sex and the City DVDs.
13. She wears jewelry to the beach.
14. Her dad calls her princess.
15. She has a purse dog named Dior.
16. She’s a failed actress.
17. She likes gin.
18. She speaks with an American accent even though she grew up in Cardona, Rizal.
19. Her monthly grooming bills are higher than your car payments.
20. She has more women’s magazines in her apartment than she has novels.
21. She has a publicist – even though she doesn’t work.
22. All her friends are married or attached to offsprings of rich people.
23. All her relatives are rich.
24. Her last three exes are rich.
25. She refers to her mother as Bitch Face.

25 Signs She is Low Maintenance

1. She eats anything.
2. She doesn’t keep a journal.
3. She doesn’t talk baby talk.
4. She can navigate for you – and she knows how to fold the map.
5. When you mention camping, she doesn’t groan.
6. She’ll never ask the waitress to bring the salad dressing “on the side”.
7. She happily meets you at parties (in other words, she doesn’t require breathlessly attentive chaperoning for her big entrance).
8. She’s asleep when you come home late.
9. When you are tired or tipsy, she offers to drive.
10. She doesn’t mind if you see her in her morning ablutions.
11. When you travel, she doesn’t have to cart her makeup around in a separate bag on wheels that’s bigger than a marine’s field pack.
12. She thinks that going out on Valentines day and New Year’s is overrated.
13. She hates bed-and-breakfast more than you do.
14. She only screams when she’s having fun.
15. She drinks beer from a bottle.
16. She’s not always wearing makeup.
17. She doesn’t see the point of sending flowers, since “they end up dead in the trash”.
18. She’s OK with peeing on the side of the road when there’s no rest stop in sight for fifty miles.
19. She never says “Hold me.”
20. She cleans up after her dog.
21. She cleans up after you.
22. When she’s pissed she tells you why.
23. You don’t have to make a thirty minute PowerPoint presentation in order to have sex with her.
24. When the remote isn’t working, she knows it’s the battery.
25. She’s not a cat person.